what actually happened in 2020

This year is quite chaotic but in a sweet way.

In January, I ran away from home. I fought with my family, got lost for a week. I’ve had returned home but nothing has changed. I had suicidal thought, cried in the train, had insomnia, fucked with someone’s boyfriend, being called a whore (yes bitch I deserved it), I didn’t feel anything and just tried to live until February. That’s what I thought.

In February, my family was so much better. I quit smoking, didn’t dye my hair, I had enough sleep, met new friends, but still in love with someone’s boyfriend. Well, that’s shit. I got the train at 6 am everyday, had classic talks with some random passengers, arrived at school at 7 am. I studied until 4 or something, and got home at late night. On the way home, I used to cry a lot in the train. I cried for no reason. Like I couldn’t pinpoint where’s hurt, but it felt so damn hurt. I was pretty sad and lonely for 29 days straight.

In March, I had practical project and shit. It was fun but exhausting. I got a new boyfriend. He’s 3 years younger than me. I used to like him because he’s cute. And then we had broken up after 2 weeks in relationshit LMAO. I liked someone else, and had crush on him but not in a serious way. And then pandemic has came, I continued the project at home virtually.

In April, I got sick. Being inpatient in the hospital for a week. Had self haircut, it failed but I liked it. I didn’t remember what else had ever happened because being sick and heartbroken during pandemic were the only things that I highlighted in my mind so far.

May is my birthday. I’m officially 22. Coronavirus hasn’t got any better. That’s also the only things that seem memorable for me.

In June till July, I got work, being an English Tutor. Life was quite calmful. I didn’t fuck with anybody else. I read books as many as I could. I cried a lot, but not in the train anymore lol.

In August, I went to my bestie's house and stayed there for 10 days and it was so refreshing. I confessed to someone and I regretted it. In the next week, I dated with a weird guy and it last for less than 2 weeks AM I NORMAL LMAO. But I got chills and felt so much happier.

In September, things got fucked up even worse. I almost die, but my ex has saved me. Thank you, my precious ex. I left home and stayed at the project site in Cianjur. 

In October, I experienced paranormal thingy shits. Also my underwear was stolen. I was completely devastated due to the project. I dyed my hair to purple. I had trip to the beach, twice. I got so much hate (and support) for spilling the tea through my blog. Being fucked up and dated someone again. 

In November, everything got scarier. I dyed my hair back to brown. Fucked the cigarettes again. Another scandalous shit happened. People yelled at me and threw the glass. After underwear, my phone was stolen too. But I got a job, so I could buy the new one. Not the underwear, but the phone LOL. The work was quite difficult but I've been doing well. 

It's December. The project is well done. I completed the 3/5/ and I felt relieved. But then, I got another breakup stories. That guy has dumped me. LOL. I got mad but not all the time. Being single is giving me so much bliss. I focus on myself. I make progress on my skripsweet, watch k-drama, fangirling over K-Pop groups, work six times in a week, yaa things got steady lately (except pandemic). 

Many things happened this year. My emotions got twisted perfectly. But I'm grateful for everything that had ever smashed me. I'm proud of myself for being strong enough to overcome shit throughout the month gently, when life fucked me badly. 

Well, lesson learned.
Thank you, 2020.